I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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