The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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