so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
