I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
