the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
