So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
