I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
