I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
