it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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