Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
