but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize