There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
