so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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