Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
