Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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