My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
