I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
