Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
