Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dicks are not precious.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
