i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
