I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
