We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize