I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
