S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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