My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
