you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
