Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
