This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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