I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize