Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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