i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
