You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
