She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
