You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
