im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
