1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
