so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize