But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
