Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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