now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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