The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
