Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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