I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
