Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
