And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
