oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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