Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
