and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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