Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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