gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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