how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
