Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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