Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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