This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Pooping to opera.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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