we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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