he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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