My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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