ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
