She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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