New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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