i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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