why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
