covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
