there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
