College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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