that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
