he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
