Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
