Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
