I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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