I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
