I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
