Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
