we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
