How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
