Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
