ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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