I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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