he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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