i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Randomize
