And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
